


Where my demons hide

by rogueofheart



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Grimdark, Hinted Shipping, Oneshot, Regret, Sadstuck, Sort of uhhh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-09
Updated: 2012-09-09
Packaged: 2017-11-13 21:40:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/507995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rogueofheart/pseuds/rogueofheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just some Rose Grimdark monologue here. Oneshot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Where my demons hide

It’s not like it made a difference when you opened your eyes, it was still dark all around. You could tell, even with your eyes squinched tightly shut. Not only was it dark, it was freezing. It was the worst possible situation you could be in, dark and cold. Who likes conditions like that? Eh, you could think of a few people. But they have their reasons to be hidden in the dark and the cold. They have their reasons.  
  
You should have listened. You still faintly remember the jade glow of the words she sent before you just turned your computer off completely, annoyed that someone was trying to control you. In a way, it reminded you of your mother. The whole passive aggressive thing. Or passive aggressive bullshit, as your brother liked to call it.  
  
Brother. Mother. Family. Up until yesterday, you believed Dave was nothing but an odd internet friend whom resembled your characteristics of fair skin and hair alike. But this day, it changed everything. The nature of it really, is just quite gruesome. You should be thankful to be alive. You aren’t.  
  
You aren’t because all you can feel is darkness, slithering up around your ankles and slowly moving to your calves and up your legs, constricting your own body. You could barely control yourself. You knew it was irrational to scream and cry, kicking and screaming, begging for release. It was your own stupidity that got you in here, maybe it would get you out as well.  
  
But that was also quite ridiculous thinking, wasn’t it? Let’s not be silly here. We have no time for silliness. We used to have time for silliness, such as playing with magnets or knitting laptop sleeves, but then the world ended. So, as you can see, we are on quite a strict time crunch here. It’s out of our control, or some of us at least. But you’re not the player of time. You’re light, which makes it quite ironic that you’re the one here shrouded in darkness.  
  
You cry out again, mumbled curses and screams that even you can’t understand what you’re saying echo in dark walls. You feel yourself move, but it’s really not you. It’s that. The thing you tried so hard to cheat, to learn of, to play the Gods of the darkness. They humored you for a bit, but now that you think about it, would they really let such a little girl get the best of them? You suppose not.  
  
Funny how you are the player of light, and you could never feel any more less. You know the player of light in the other session, Kanaya’s session, was quite odd. She was ruthless, obsessed with winning. Maybe that was a trick of this game. The light is always the farthest to reach, you know? Maybe that’s why you’re surrounded in darkness and the other is surrounded in loneliness.   
  
Your throat burns from screaming, and you scream something that almost sounds like Mom. Mom. The idea almost sounds foreign to you. You never would have expected to be bleeding out the way you are. Crying for your mother, you doubt you’ve done that since you learned that other mothers didn’t need as much ‘special juice’ as your own. You swore up and down you wouldn’t forgive her. She wasn’t fit to be a mother. She didn’t love you. You would have never cried out for her except now you’re desperate and you’re begging for her forgiveness and her warmth that she always carried around even if you weren’t always accepting for it. You want her and you want her here to hold you.   
  
You want your mother and you want your friends and you want Her even though you betrayed her by avoiding her and letting the darkness take over your own self. You hope if you ever get out of this, that she won’t blame herself, and she’ll forgive you. If you don’t get out of this, well, then that was your fault wasn’t it? Your own stupid fault.   
  
You can’t stop crying every single name that comes to mind. Your friends. Your mother. You feel like you’re dying and maybe you are, but all you can say is I’m so sorry.  
  
Because you are so, so sorry.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know. I just wrote this when I woke up, so I didn't work too hard on this. But I hope you liked it, I guess! C:


End file.
